Hello Breasties!

I’ve recently had some new visitors to my blog (thank you!), so I thought I should pop on to say hello again, and give you an update on life after cancer.

July 23, 2023 marked two years since getting diagnosed with HER2+ breast cancer, as well as one year and five months of being cancer-free. A lot has happened since then, but the three main updates are:

#1 MY Health is ok

Firstly, as far as my doctors and I can tell, I am healthy. My last PET scan was in February 2023 and it was clear (no evidence of disease). As a young cancer survivor, I am now in follow-up care, which means I see my oncologist every three months for a check-up. She checks my blood panel, does a physical examination and we chat a bit about how I am feeling. I also get a mammogram and a breast ultrasound once a year. So far I haven’t had any concerning results. Hopefully I can stay healthy for a long, long time.

HER2+ breast cancer is considered to have a high risk of recurrence, particularly within the first five years after completing treatment. Luckily with the emergence of trastuzumab and other anti-HER2 targeted treatments, the risk of this type of cancer coming back has been reduced dramatically, but it still happens (more often than we would want).

For this reason, many cancer survivors still think about the disease frequently and also we have a tendency to worry about any new physical symptom they experience. What to any normal person might be a slight headache from dehydration, in our heads becomes brain mets with a median life expectancy of 3 to 12 months.

#2 LIFE is… WEIRD

Secondly, my life has changed so much. Ohhh, so much.

My cancer diagnosis, fifteen months of cancer treatment, and also being laid off from my job at Facebook in November 2022 have all converged in me questioning where my life was heading. At this point in time, I actually have no idea where it’s supposed to be heading instead, but I couldn’t really keep ignoring all the signals from the universe, could I? Things had to change.

My priorities and mindset are so different from what they were two years ago. Not only that, but my body is quite different too, and I’m still learning to live with it. I still get tired a lot faster than I used to. I still need to take naps in the middle of the day. The scars I have from my surgery still ache every day. It takes a lot of stretching before I can lift my left arm up above my head.

And don’t get me started on my brain! The strategies that used to work for me before cancer are quite useless now. The medical PTSD and chemobrain I still suffer from have taken the mild inattentive attention deficits I’ve always struggled with and blown it up so badly that most days I can’t recognize myself. I’ve had to learn how to motivate myself, how to focus my attention, how to tune out the noise in ways that are completely different from pre-cancer times. The good news is I’ve come to understand my brain better than ever before, but the bad news is I’ve already fallen so far behind everybody else. I feel like most people have this all figured out by the time they start university or their first job. For me, I’ve had to start completely fresh.

#3 TIME IS MOST PRECIOUS

Thirdly, I’ve come to a new understanding of resources. Cancer has helped me understand that the most precious resource any of us have, is time.

There’s no way to borrow or earn more of it.

None of us know how much of it we were given in the first place.

Even if you don’t know what to spend it on, every minute of not doing anything is depleting your resources.

I spend my time differently now. As much as I can (especially given the lack of direction), I try to be intentional with my resources: my time, my energy, my emotions.

These days the first app I check when I wake up is the one that measures my sleep score (instead of checking my emails). My top priority every day is making sure that my body is getting enough exercise and nutrients (instead of coffee and stress-induced cortisol). I measure my steps, my sleep, my glucose levels and my mood. I read research papers talking about the best way to prevent disease, cancer and other ones, too. I think often about what my purpose is, and how to live a life that aligns with it.

This sounds like a good thing, but actually is quite terrifying because if you don’t know where you’re going, you probably won’t end up in the right spot, and meanwhile… time might be running out.

I’m trying to find the best way to share my findings with you Breasties, so keep an eye out on this space and on my Instagram if you want to know more.

Stay healthy and check your boobs,

Magda